fuck tinder.

Fuck Tinder.

It's getting me nowhere.  After being on it for a few weeks, I concluded that it only encourages the lazy, passive, attention grabbing side of me.  I pleasantly wake up with five new suitors everyday that I feel absolutely no pressure in contacting.  I feel like it has replaced trying to actually connect with people in the real world.  Rather than scoping out the coffee shop I'm in, I bury my nose in my iPhone, compulsively swiping "hot or not", without even making eye contact with the barista.  He could have been attractive!  How would I know?  I even do it while peeing.

It's got to stop.  Go!  Get out there!  Remember when dating involved actually looking at real people?  No?  Well, then, it's time to learn.  I remember something about hanging out where men are.  The hardware store, anywhere that sells beer, at sports events.  Sounds sexist, but apparently, it works.  I arrive at my friend Marnie's pick up basketball game, I instantly have a dozen guys my age to pick from.  Who'd have thought?  Well, whoever originally gave that tip to someone.  So, that random woman in the 1950's.

Did I mention, I suck at basketball?  I have the basic skills, but playing co-ed is kind of laughable.  Luckily, there's another girl on the opposing team that I can pair up with, but she has me by a couple inches.  And skill points.  I never get even close to touching the ball.  I'll probably have to narrow the guys down by who's not mad at me by the end of the game.
"Good game!"
"Haha, not really!  Thanks, though.  I tried!"  I say, still trying to catch my breath.
"No, you have some potential!  You should come out more.  You're Marnie's friend, right?"
"Annie."
"Dave," he responds, extending a hand.  He's a brunette with a dark, sweet eyes.
"Nice to meet you!"
"Are you doing anything after the game?  The guys are going out for a drink, I think."
"Oh, maybe.  If Marn's going," I smile, playing a little hard to get.
"You should.  Well, I might see you there?"
"Sure."
"See ya!"
"Bye!"  Not a bad tush, either.  I shower quickly at the gym, preparing for the best scenario.

I arrive solo, at the sports bar down the street.
"Annie!  Over here," Dave waves, when he sees me looking around.  "No Marnie?"
"No, she wasn't into it.  But, I thought I'd come for a bit," I wink.  I order a plate of nachos.  Good thing I brought my toothbrush.  I devour the plate, begging Dave to save me from them.
"Can I buy you another drink?"
"Sure.  But then have to go!"
"We'll see," he teases.
An hour goes by, and I feel like I should wrap this up.  "Well, it's been fun..."
"Aww, no!  Here, I'll buy you another," he says, getting his wallet.
"No, really," I say, laughing.  I muster my courage.  Just ask.  One sentence.  Just do it.  "But, would you like to join me?"  Join me where?  My place, I guess.
"Uhh," he considers it, looking around for a moment.  "Sure."

"So, this is it," I say as we enter my small apartment.
"Very nice.  I like it."
"I like you," I respond, proud of my own forwardness.  Dave laughs.
"Reeeally," he says, narrowing his eyes, perhaps looking at me in a new light.  He steps closer to me, and I place my arms on his shoulders, so that our faces are almost touching.  I nod in response to his question, slowly leaning in for a kiss.  Mmmm!  Nothing like the real thing.  A welcome change after weeks of only looking at guys' faces online.
I open my mouth slightly to welcome his tongue into it, and I feel him pull me closer.  I relax into him, and I can't believe how great it feels to be in his arms.  My pussy moistens at the excitement and nervousness of this first encounter offline.  Pressing ourselves against each other and making out, we slowly inch over to the bedroom.  We bang into the coffee table, and kick over a stack of books on the floor, laughing at our clumsiness, but manage to get there relatively unscathed.
In my bedroom, I remove my shirt over my head, then immediately go back to his mouth.  Dave's hands caress my bare shoulders, my back, my waist.  He gathers my hair in his hands, and moves it to the side, so he can touch my skin easier.  He removes his own t-shirt, pulling it over his head, revealing a decently defined chest and abs.  We kiss again, making a point of pressing our naked torsos into each other.  It feels so good to touch someone skin to skin.
I take the initiative of unbuttoning his jeans, and he raises an eyebrow, with a mix of surprise and impression.  I smile, kissing him again, playing the devil.  It only encourages me.  He lets his jeans fall to the floor, and readjusts his erection under his boxers.
"Just take them off," I suggest smiling, removing my own shorts.
"Alright," he says, smiling as well, perhaps in disbelief.  I reach down to touch it, stroking it very lightly with my hand, teasing him a little bit.  He takes the opportunity to feel my breasts through my bra, and my butt through my underwear.  He pulls me closer, and a little rougher.  I like to see him as enthusiastic as I feel.  My pussy floods moisture when he grabs me like that.  I raise my knee to grind against his leg, and he holds me there, using my ass for leverage.  So hot.  But, do you know what would be hotter?
I kiss him once more before gripping his cock, and kneeling on the ground.  I lick the tip of the thing, looking coyly up at him as I do it.  He smiles again and shakes his head disbelievingly.  But, I do it for me.  I love the way sucking cock makes me feel.  Like I'm sexy, dirty, but also giving, and eager to please.  Either way, it never fails to get me wet.
I lip my lips, and plunge the thing right into my salivating mouth.  I immediately can move my wet mouth over it, which I do seamlessly, with a small amount of pressure in my lips.  I work my mouth over it, bobbing at a consistent medium pace on it.  I don't touch it with my hands; in fact, he holds it steady for me, so I can do it without interruption.  I rarely cop out by giving guys a handjob at the same time.  I like to let my mouth do the work.
When I'm satisfied that we both view me as a sexual goddess, I remove his hard on from my mouth, and wipe the drool from my lips.  He bends, lifting me to a standing position, and confidently kisses me on the mouth.  We moan together, happy again to be in each other's arms, and laying back onto the bed.  I eagerly remove my panties and bra, and he aggressively kisses my tits, while feeling my pussy for the first time.  He moans in pleasure to see how wet I am.  I'm so lubricated that he can play with my clit easily.  He licks my nipples, going back and forth between them, while he does it.  I thrust into his hand, feeling the very focused, intense feeling of pleasure that only my clit can give me.  My eyes roll back into my head, and I hear myself moan in abandon.
When the need gets unbearable, I flip onto him, straddling his hips.  He holds his cock towards me, and I slowly sit down onto it.  We sigh in unison as he enters me.  I give myself a moment to relax around him, as he reaches forward to touch my nipples.  I smile at the touch, and let my own hand fondle my clit.  Still on my knees with my weight under me, I'm not in a position to thrust, so he starts.  Slowly, giving me most of his dick, now.  I moan, still playing with myself, but his hands move to my hips, to hold them up, making room for him to thrust beneath me.  He presses his pelvis into me, starting up a good rhythm, moving into me, again and again.  I rebound off of his cock, moaning each time.  Feeling fucking fantastic.
We hit our stride, really starting to get each other off.  I get onto my feet, in a squat over him, so I can control it a little better.  I take over my own sexual organ, effectively masturbating with his cock, feeling it hit my g-spot with precision.  Oh god.  Fuck, yes.  I move myself over and over him, feeling the urge to come already.  Here it comes.  Yes.  Fuck.
"Yes, yes, yessss!!!"  I yell, coming fiercely on his cock.  He smiles, almost laughing with the joy of watching me, and takes matters into his own hands.  He flips me over now, giving it to me from above.  On my back, I grab his hips, encouraging him to fuck me harder.  Yes!  Fuck!  I could almost come again, except I'm not in the right position.  He fucks me faster, really laying into me now, and I'm so relaxed and open for him that I want even more than what he's giving me.  I grasp at him desperately, and he closes his eyes in concentration.  He leans forward to kiss me for a moment, then groans into my mouth, letting go inside me.  I feel the warmth of it.

Fuck Tinder.  Seriously, fuck Tinder.