My boyfriend and I have a great sex life. We've finally tuned into exactly what we need to do to give each other blissful orgasms. But ...
Mine have to involve a vibrator. Jeff is more than okay with this; he loves it actually! He's told me on numerous occasions that he finds it sexy to see me use it on myself, and loves that I know my body and what it needs sexually. He actually said that he was a little intimidated when he first saw all my toys; that I seemed to know so much more about sex than he did. I've been using one for years. The problem is, I can't come without it. It wasn't until Jeff, that I realized it might be a problem. Despite the statistics that say the contrary, he says that all his girlfriends came on his cock. As much as he loves me and the way we have orgasms, I can't help feeling that I'm abnormal. Or worse, that my vibrator is unhealthy for me.
I got the idea to stop using it when masturbating. I haven't used it in a week; however, I haven't masturbated either. I usually would have a couple times already. I'm feeling a little insane.
When I get home from work, I decide that I need to get off tonight, if it kills me. I strip, and hop into bed with my laptop. I find my bookmarked videos, and watch them awhile before starting to touch myself. I start with pressure on my pubic bone, with my legs closed. This is similar to how I started masturbating, when I was much younger. I used to lie on my stomach, and press myself into the palm of my hand. It feels good, but I want it to feel better. I get a little lube, get my knees up, and begin to rub my clit. It's nice and relaxing, especially as I'm just starting out, but I know it's not going to be enough to make me come. Trying to think positive, I say to myself, "It doesn't matter if I come. I'm just going to have a nice time rubbing my pussy." But I need to come! It's the whole point of masturbating. And it's what I need right now. Determined, I methodically rub my clit, giving myself a nice little massage. I add more lube. Massage a little more. Try to relax. Watch the women on the screen. Rub myself like I used to, before I got a vibrator. Long strokes, that go from the opening of my pussy, up to my clit. Drawing moisture upwards. I used to not even use lubricant.
Mmm. It doesn't matter if I come. It's good for me to use my hand instead. If I don't come this time, I'll just try again in a few days. Your body just needs some time to readjust to a softer touch. Oohh. That's nice. See? It's good. It's healthier. Imagine being able to come without a vibe, with Jeff. How nice it will be. Mmmm. It's just going to take a little bit of time ... Oh, fuck it.
I google "addicted to vibrator", and read several articles advising to do exactly what I'm trying to do. Cut down your vibe time by 50%, and use your hand the rest of the time, so that your body is more receptive to coming in different ways. But another column catches my eye, that basically says, "Or, don't." You've found a way for your body to have a healthy, stress relieving orgasm, regularly. You're ahead of so many women that have either never had one, can't understand what they need to do to make it happen on a consistent basis, or just rely on men to do it for them, resulting in an unhealthy dependence on the opposite sex. "Just don't let it get in the way of intimacy with your partner." Which, I don't. I've never been more in love, more satisfied sexually, or more happy in all aspects of my life. I reach for my vibrator.
As I put it on myself, I literally say "Oh, thank god," out loud. There is a smile on my face, and a vibe on my clit.
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