instruction manual.

How to assemble your new IKEA bookshelf.


Contents: Allen key, four shelves, twelve shelving pegs, one back piece, left, right and top panel.

Place back piece flat on the bed, or other surface.  This will allow you to attach the side with ease. You might cause stress to the joints or warping to the panels, though IKEA particle board can be quite soft and flexible if you treat it properly.  Pick up the Allen key, and allow it to become like an extension of your own hand.  You may need to apply a small amount of oil or lubricant to the tip, to facilitate easy entry into the shelving pegs.  Retrieve the lonely left panel, and place it so that it lies parallel to the back piece, softly caressing the side while it waits anxiously for entry.  Take care to align the key into the waiting orifice at a perpendicular angle and begin at a slow, steady pace.  Only when the groove is ready to catch the instrument, you may begin to thoughtfully rotate your glistening key, and feel the panels  begin to move together in an intoxicating, deliberate rhythm.  Repeat with the right side panel until the throbbing three are joined in a perfect, ecstatic union.  Turn, turn, turn, until you can't possibly turn any more.  When you're satisfied with the tightness and closeness of the each part, your bookshelf is ready to stand erect.